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From: Joe Stroud <kheper-qHhcd8v2xDhBDgjK7y7TUQ <at> public.gmane.org>
Subject: Grilling Machine madness!
Newsgroups: gmane.culture.food.recipes.nekhbet
Date: Wednesday 8th August 2007 20:03:01 UTC (over 10 years ago)
Grilling Machine madness!

What follows is a true story:

While dining at my cousin's house, I spied a 'George
Foreman: Lean-Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling-Machine',
sitting, suspiciously abandoned, near the cupboard.
So, I inquired whether or not it was adequate for
grilling a relatively large amount of food. His wife
remarked, 'We do not like the taste of food which
comes off that stupid grill!'. I considered, then and
there, making a cash offer for it, but thought otherwise,
as it may not have seemed 'polite' to make a deal for
someone-else's property in someone-else's home. Later
that night, his wife exclaimed that, 'If anyone wants
the grill, they are more than welcome to it.'. Well,
less than 1 micro-second after those words flew out of
her mouth, I requested the grill, and it was mine. Yet,
I got the distinct impression that my sister wanted the
grill for herself; I inferred this from the foul looks
she threw me, as I was leaving the house with the grill,
tucked, chastely, under my arm. She, later, went on to
publically denounce me as an opportunist, a chisler,
and dirty, third-rate-grifter and insisted that her
only motive for wanting to acquire the grill was to,
selflessly, give it to her son, the supposedly indigent
CPA. (HAHAHA) Well, I told her, pointedly, 'With all of
the cash which you have mis-appropriated, thru the years,
as an educational bureaucrat, you can use THAT money or 
just steal another $100, from the taxpayers, for the 
retail purchase of a new, George Foreman Lean-Mean
Fat-Reducing Grilling-Machine!'.

This grill has a variable temperature control and a timer.
It is large enough to easily grill a whole, de-boned chicken.

1 chicken, minus the wings, entirely de-boned, and cut in half
buttermilk, to cover the chicken
BIG bacon-cheese sauce (recipe follows)
1 lb. large button mushrooms, halved
olive oil or melted butter

Place the bone-less chicken halves into a
gallon-sized ziplock bag and pour a sufficient
quantity of buttermilk over the chicken to
entirely cover it. Marinate for 6 hours or
overnight. Turn the bag periodically.

Remove the marinated chicken halves from the
bag and blot them with paper towels. If you have
some bacon grease, smear it on both skin sides
of the chicken. Preheat the 'Lean Mean Grilling
Machine'. Set the temperature control to the
highest setting. Place the halves into the grill
and close the lid. Set the timer for about 10
minutes. After about 5 minutes, re-arrange and
turn the chicken halves over. Grill until the
chicken is firm, hot-to-the-touch, and the juices
run clear from the flesh. Remove the chicken to a
platter. Salt and pepper it down. Cover loosely
with foil. Prepare the sauce and the mushrooms,

BIG bacon-cheese sauce:
1 slice of smokey bacon, diced
1/2 Tbl flour
1/2 cup whole milk
1 Tbl Tabasco sauce
1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1 oz. bleu cheese, crumbled
pinch of nutmeg

Render the bacon in a small sauce pan. When
rendered, remove the bacon bits with a slotted
spoon. Sprinkle in the flour and whisk constantly
until the roux become light brown. Break down
the roux with the milk by incorporating it
slowly, in stages. Add the Tabasco. Season to
taste with salt and pepper. Allow the sauce to
become very thick and bubby. Throw in the cheeses.
Stir. Add the nutmeg. Stir. When the cheeses melt,
turn off the heat, lest the sauce become grainy in
texture. Throw in the bacon bits.

Douse the mushrooms with a sufficient quantity of
olive oil or melted butter to coat them. Throw them
into the grill and close the lid. Grill until they
pick up some color and are tender. Remove from grill
and salt them down.

Arrange the chicken halves on a large platter.
Scatter the mushrooms over the chicken. Pour
the sauce over the chicken and mushrooms. Serve
crusty bread and very good, dark beer.
CD: 3ms