Subject: Grilling Machine madness!
Date: Wednesday 8th August 2007 20:03:01 UTC (over 10 years ago)
Grilling Machine madness! What follows is a true story: While dining at my cousin's house, I spied a 'George Foreman: Lean-Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling-Machine', sitting, suspiciously abandoned, near the cupboard. So, I inquired whether or not it was adequate for grilling a relatively large amount of food. His wife remarked, 'We do not like the taste of food which comes off that stupid grill!'. I considered, then and there, making a cash offer for it, but thought otherwise, as it may not have seemed 'polite' to make a deal for someone-else's property in someone-else's home. Later that night, his wife exclaimed that, 'If anyone wants the grill, they are more than welcome to it.'. Well, less than 1 micro-second after those words flew out of her mouth, I requested the grill, and it was mine. Yet, I got the distinct impression that my sister wanted the grill for herself; I inferred this from the foul looks she threw me, as I was leaving the house with the grill, tucked, chastely, under my arm. She, later, went on to publically denounce me as an opportunist, a chisler, and dirty, third-rate-grifter and insisted that her only motive for wanting to acquire the grill was to, selflessly, give it to her son, the supposedly indigent CPA. (HAHAHA) Well, I told her, pointedly, 'With all of the cash which you have mis-appropriated, thru the years, as an educational bureaucrat, you can use THAT money or just steal another $100, from the taxpayers, for the retail purchase of a new, George Foreman Lean-Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling-Machine!'. This grill has a variable temperature control and a timer. It is large enough to easily grill a whole, de-boned chicken. 1 chicken, minus the wings, entirely de-boned, and cut in half buttermilk, to cover the chicken BIG bacon-cheese sauce (recipe follows) 1 lb. large button mushrooms, halved salt pepper olive oil or melted butter Place the bone-less chicken halves into a gallon-sized ziplock bag and pour a sufficient quantity of buttermilk over the chicken to entirely cover it. Marinate for 6 hours or overnight. Turn the bag periodically. Remove the marinated chicken halves from the bag and blot them with paper towels. If you have some bacon grease, smear it on both skin sides of the chicken. Preheat the 'Lean Mean Grilling Machine'. Set the temperature control to the highest setting. Place the halves into the grill and close the lid. Set the timer for about 10 minutes. After about 5 minutes, re-arrange and turn the chicken halves over. Grill until the chicken is firm, hot-to-the-touch, and the juices run clear from the flesh. Remove the chicken to a platter. Salt and pepper it down. Cover loosely with foil. Prepare the sauce and the mushrooms, simultaneously. BIG bacon-cheese sauce: 1 slice of smokey bacon, diced 1/2 Tbl flour 1/2 cup whole milk 1 Tbl Tabasco sauce 1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated 1 oz. bleu cheese, crumbled pinch of nutmeg salt pepper Render the bacon in a small sauce pan. When rendered, remove the bacon bits with a slotted spoon. Sprinkle in the flour and whisk constantly until the roux become light brown. Break down the roux with the milk by incorporating it slowly, in stages. Add the Tabasco. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Allow the sauce to become very thick and bubby. Throw in the cheeses. Stir. Add the nutmeg. Stir. When the cheeses melt, turn off the heat, lest the sauce become grainy in texture. Throw in the bacon bits. Douse the mushrooms with a sufficient quantity of olive oil or melted butter to coat them. Throw them into the grill and close the lid. Grill until they pick up some color and are tender. Remove from grill and salt them down. Arrange the chicken halves on a large platter. Scatter the mushrooms over the chicken. Pour the sauce over the chicken and mushrooms. Serve crusty bread and very good, dark beer.